That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
MIDGETS
????
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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