so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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