Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
