He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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