she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
