I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
