I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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