It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
