Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
