It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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