how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
