I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
