Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
