His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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