bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
