I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize