I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
