Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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