Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
