I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
