You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize