Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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