I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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