how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
