Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
A bitchslap is in order.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
