Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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