I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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