____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it hurts more in the daytime
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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