I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
