allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All the doctor said was why
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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