I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
