well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
