Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
