Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
