Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
