Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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