never play flip cup with pint glasses
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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