we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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