"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
