I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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