I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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