Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
