More tranny stories later!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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