Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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