i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
