so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
