so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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