he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
