Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
