At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
