What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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