Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
