that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
