fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think i have herpe
just one?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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