Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She announced her abortion via fbk
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
