I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
