similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
