We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its not stalking. its research.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
