My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
