Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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