AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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