Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
