I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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