school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My balls are so social today.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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